God Was Faithful

Well, it's been a hot minute.  A few weeks ago, I accessed this ole blog and thought I'd begin writing again (possibly not publishing) as an outlet for the thoughts that continuously swirl through my heart and mind. For several years, I enjoyed writing and sharing my thoughts in different venues, but a couple of years ago, I felt like God put His finger on my lips and told me to be still.  I can't explain it, but it was clear, and I stepped away from the pen almost completely, listened more than I talked, and meditated on a level that was completely new for me.

Then came 2019.  Three days into the new year, reverses began to happen.  The washer (a relatively new one), a transmission, an engine, blown tires, health issues, on and on, things went wrong.  But God was faithful.

Two and a half months into 2019, God asked us to sacrifice in a real and tangible way.  More on that later.  It was ten months of extreme change for our family.  But God was faithful.

I longed for 2020.  Something about those numbers felt so fresh to my mind.  A new year.  A new decade.  The ability to put the crazy, wonderful, exhausting months of 2019 behind.  I was confident 2020 would be amazing.  Greg and I had made progress on some financial goals, and his career had sort of taken off in an exciting way.  His company was breaking records, and Greg's hard work as an assistant regional manager was paying off. We were dreaming and we were planning.

Then came COVID-19.

Within a couple of days, the calendar became meaningless.  All the spring events toward which we so looked forward became doubtful.  Spring piano and archery for Allison.  Driver's ed and student competitions for Kaitlynn.  Spring semester, including choir tour for Ryan and Evan. The church convention that has been part of our lives all of our lives.  The primary breadwinner's quarterly bonus that was earned and expected. You know exactly what I'm talking about because you and your children have been affected similarly.  It's disappointing at best, but also unsettling and scary.

We're well into day six of social distancing, and are told that another fifteen days or so will tell us if this effort is enough to flatten the curve of the numbers of those affected by this virus.  In the meantime, we're all at home doing our best to be part of the solution.

As a wife and mom, I feel like my primary job right now is to maintain a positive outlook in my own heart so that I can help set the tone for my household.  Instead of complaining about the dreams I had for the year, I need to continue to be grateful for God's blessings and help to encourage my husband, who had to participate in the devastating process of laying off of a significant number of employees this week.  Instead of being frustrated about the increase of sibling rivalry, topsy-turvy schedules, and non-stop household activity, I need to be sensitive to my kids who are struggling with the loss of so many of the things that were important to them.

This is a time of frustration, no doubt, but I'm asking God to help me focus on all the potential for good that this time of social-distancing can bring.  We can still minister, we just have to be creative.  Our children can still learn, we just have to be more engaged and active in helping to teach them.  We can still dream, we just have to factor in new variables.  Most of all, we can still love.  Love has no boundaries.

Someday 2020 and COVID-19 will be just a memory.  And we'll say, "God was faithful."