 |
| - a 2007 pic with Livvy - |
My husband’s personality is different.
Different from my dad’s. Different from my brother’s.
He is a man, but does not always think, act, or
respond like the men with whom I have grown up.
They say a girl will often choose a guy who is somewhat like her dad. Greg and my dad have some similarities - they are both kind, compassionate, funny, tender, masculine, hard-working, and family-oriented. And then they have their differences - levels of patience, levels of organization, etc. I knew I wasn't marrying my father (duh), but I hadn't prepared for some of the "minor" adjustments that would need to be applied to my expectations.
For instance, not too far into marriage, it was time to change the oil in the car. Imagine my response when Greg said, "I'll make an appointment to get it done." To really imagine my response, you have to know that I grew up with a dad who did all of the car maintenance and repairs himself. Although it wasn't really verbalized, dad doing those things implied to me that it was a waste of money to take one's care to WalMart or the Jiffy Lube for an oil change. What was completely normal to my husband, was completely foreign to me.
So, I'm not sure how that one ended, but as time moved on and life became more expensive, Greg learned how to do car maintenance and minor repairs. And I learned that if he wanted to take the car to WalMart, it wasn't the end of the world. I also learned not to expect my husband to function, react, or lead like my father. They are both great men, and I respect them both very much, but they are different. And that's ok. :-)
Don't marry the person you think you can live with;
~James C. Dobson
For instance, not too far into marriage, it was time to change the oil in the car. Imagine my response when Greg said, "I'll make an appointment to get it done." To really imagine my response, you have to know that I grew up with a dad who did all of the car maintenance and repairs himself. Although it wasn't really verbalized, dad doing those things implied to me that it was a waste of money to take one's care to WalMart or the Jiffy Lube for an oil change. What was completely normal to my husband, was completely foreign to me.
So, I'm not sure how that one ended, but as time moved on and life became more expensive, Greg learned how to do car maintenance and minor repairs. And I learned that if he wanted to take the car to WalMart, it wasn't the end of the world. I also learned not to expect my husband to function, react, or lead like my father. They are both great men, and I respect them both very much, but they are different. And that's ok. :-)
Don't marry the person you think you can live with;
marry only the individual
you think you can't live without.
~James C. Dobson
Oh my goodness. It took me a good while (years of marriage) to really understand this. I had preconceived ideas of who Nathan would be as a husband based off of the men in my family. I also addressed how we would function as a couple in this same way. Although we were both raised with church influences, we have VERY different upbringings. Whew, he was so patient while I worked through understanding all of that! :)
ReplyDelete