Saturday, July 21, 2012

15 Things {Day Three}

My husband's compliments are genuine and heartfelt.

From the earliest time I can remember, I have had difficulty accepting compliments.  My dad was really good about teaching us kids in the church and school to accept a compliment and defer the glory to God, and so-all these years later- I still remind myself to do that. 

A funny story that I will never forget:  I had a high school crush on the man I eventually married.  I was 17, and we were sitting together during an outdoor drama at a youth camp.  He had asked me to sit with him, and during the drama he leaned over and told me that I looked nice.  To this day, my response floors me.  I looked at him and said, "You must need new glasses."  It was probably then and there that he decided I needed a few more years to grow up!  Haha!  I don't think either of us have ever mentioned that awkward moment, and it's likely that he doesn't even remember it.  I'll find out after he reads this!  :-)

Even though lots years have passed since that hot July evening, there are times when I find myself making my own addendum to his compliments.  He says I look nice, I make a comment about my weight.  He enjoys a meal I've prepared, I find a flaw.  He  notices a success in my career, I focus on the one thing that wasn't so successful. 

What I have learned in 15 years is that throwing off a compliment is annoying to a man.  When he says it, he means it.  He isn't trying to impress me, or simply make me feel better about myself.  He's telling the truth from his heart.  There are reasons why he was drawn to me, and he should be able to remind me of those now and then without me rejecting his words.  I think he would tell you that I'm doing better.  I'm sure trying!

I don't know whether you struggle with accepting compliments, but if you do, practice accepting them with a smile.  Even if your insides want to argue about it.  After awhile, your heart will receive complimentary words just as genuinely as they are given. 

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly. 
~Peter De Vries

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